Dear Y, 

I repeat all the things I should have said inside my head. 

&& I swallow it with a sip of alcohol, late at night. 

because that is the best I can do. 

that is all I know how to do. 

I want to re-live the moments. 

aseaofquotes:

Nicole Krauss, The History of Love

Dear Y, 

I am living.

I am breathing. In and Out. 

I am blinking. Open and Shut. 

I am moving. Here and There. 

I am hurting. With or Without you. 

But I am living…

aseaofquotes:

Herta Müller, The Hunger Angel

Dear Y

I thought you would run away if I was dependent on you.

I believed that I had to always think twice, always think of your needs first. 

It was an unspoken rule but I knew that I shouldn’t say anything that would cross you. 

I just didn’t want to fight….not with you… no matter how minor. 

I silenced myself, I took a step back, I observed. I closed in. 

I don’t know how to properly open myself any more. 

aseaofquotes:

Jack Kerouac, On the Road

This is how I feel….

I want to walk back, towards where you are, if you would give me the chance to sway you. 

If you promise me that you will at least stop and listen to me… or at least slow down…so I can reach you. 

I want to run towards you. 

Sway me, if you won’t be swayed. 

Dear Y,

People make it so easy, yet, it is the hardest thing. 

I get so confused. I get so vulnerable. I can’t strike a balance. 

I am just alone in a room full of crowd. 

My eyes look to every corner of the room, wondering if you are out there somewhere… 

&& I think to myself whether things would have changed if you were still in my life. 

If that be so, I wonder if I would have find it easy like them. 

I want to feel alive, not hollow. 

(Source: biggiesmallss12)

“And he understands. He understands why people hold hands: he’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying This is mine. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go.”

—Greenhouse Scene from Jace’s POV (via loveisnottodestroy)

Dear Y, 

I stood afar. I couldn’t comprehend the situation that was laid out before me. It was as if a plank of wood struck the very core of my head, with undeniable force. I had lost my ability to feel my senses and coordination.

I took a step, making myself more available to you. Everyone around me were busy. They were in a hurry. They talked fast and people responded back even faster. But, I was silent. I was lost. 

I reached out. the tip of my index finger came into contact with your pinky. I engulfed the whole of your pinky with my hand. I held it tight. I squeezed it so hard because I wanted you to know what I was thinking……maybe, wishing.

I wanted you to stay.

I needed you to know that I wanted you to stay…. 

I needed you to stay.

wowfunniestposts:

this blog is epic

Dear Y,

I think about you every now and then. 

I want to talk to you every now and then. But, I refrain myself. 

I wonder how you are doing sometimes. I think about it in my head. 

Sometimes, I want to know if you miss me like the way I do.  

It really sucks when the person I used to talk to everyday becomes a complete stranger….. and now, I can’t even call. 

the blue speech bubble is how I feel.

Do you ever feel that way? 

(Source: )

Dear Y,

“I was always hungry for [your] love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once.”

—Haruki Murakami

aseaofquotes:

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I am too used to the kind of person that I am now. I don’t want any more changes, no more adaptations please. Because “change” now, will not change my past. 

There was a moment this year where I was willing to take a step and make some “change”. You didn’t let me. You walked away. 

Don’t worry. I am used to that now too. People walk away. 

I told you. I am used to this. I am used to the way I am. I can do this. 

I can stay closed.